January 2013 – Smartie Knows

Pay It Forward

January 25, 2013 by Manuela, posted in Emotions, Living, Love

“I think you can scare somebody out of doing something, but not out of feeling like they want to.” – Catherin Ryan Hyde, Chasing Windmills

A few weeks ago while I was on the bus on my way to work, a lady got on a few stops after mine. After she boarded I had a hard time concentrating on the book I was reading, which I really wanted to read. My commute time is my reading time, and I am really jealous of that time, so needless to say I wasn’t a happy camper.

This wasn’t the first time this happened with this lady. If the timing is perfect, our paths can cross easily a few times a week, which means I don’t get to read. That day I had enough of the struggle and just sat there and listened to her message. Let me explain what happened.

I’d like to think that I’m a non-judgemental person, and I do believe that everyone has freedom of speech, and a right to their own opinions. But this lady was just driving me bonkers that day. She was preaching very loudly about the fact that God watches everyone therefore we need to be careful of what we do, and that there really is a place called hell. She would stress that in order to avoid hell we need to follow what the bible says, or else God will punish us and send us to an eternal life in purgatory. She went on to say that God will be angry if we let Jesus’ death to wipe our sins away be a waste of time. She would go on and on until we reached the subway station, and continue until she got onto the subway and went her own way. What a heavy message to hear first thing in the morning!

This time while she preached, I observed the people on the bus and how they reacted. They wouldn’t look her way, would avoid eye contact with her. I could see that many people didn’t want to hear her, and some looked uncomfortable. I know that although I was listening to her, I too felt uncomfortable. I had a hard time relating with the message she was trying to convey – that God was an entity of judgement, anger, and something to be fearful of. I didn’t like the emotions which were being drawn up in me from this. I was glad when she was no longer near me.

One afternoon this week while I was on my way home , I was on the subway reading my book when someone caught my attention. A beautiful, older lady who had an amazing presence about her and radiated joy and love walked by me. I was totally enraptured with her, to the point that I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Once she reached the front end of the subway, close to where I was sitting, she would go up to every person, stand in front of them and say “You are beautiful. God loves you. God bless you.” I was totally taken aback by that. She had such a loving way about her, and was delivering such a beautiful message. Witnessing what this woman was doing, I felt my heart swell and found myself smiling. I’m by all means not religious, but when she stood in front of me, and said those words, I found myself saying “thank you, and God bless you.” I don’t know why I did that, it just felt like the right thing to do.

Photo from: http://livebyfaith66.blogspot.ca/

But the strangest thing happened. I noticed, that although she was delivering a completely different message than the other lady on the bus, the one who spoke of a mean God, this woman received the same reaction. No one would look at her, give her the time of day. I know that I didn’t have the same feelings come up inside of me – this time I felt cozy and warm inside and for the rest of the day I felt better, more happy, and I paid it forward. I was more loving and kind towards others, I held open doors, gave my seat to someone who needed it, and smiled at strangers. I just didn’t understand why the others on the subway didn’t see what I saw, and reacted the way they did. Were they threatened by her? Were they afraid of what others would think if she responded? Or is it because she used the word “God” and “love”? I don’t know. Like I said before I’m not religious at all, but I understood what she was saying. She was saying that I am special, I am loved. Who doesn’t want to hear that? Who cares that she is a total stranger, the fact of the matter is, she is spreading love and joy to everyone, and people, we need it and should pay it forward.

This video which has been viral on Facebook says it all. Enjoy. Pay it forward.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/PT-HBl2TVtI]

So, Where Are You At?

January 18, 2013 by Manuela, posted in Being Present, Living

“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.” – Oprah Winfrey

It is now mid-January, and I’m still doing well with my New Year’s Resolution. This time around I intentionally chose to make a resolution which wasn’t based on depravation or self criticism. This year I decided that my resolution would be to be kind to myself. Whatever situation I am in, whatever it means to be kind to myself, that is what I plan to do.

And thus far it has worked.

It hasn’t been easy though. As some of you may know, last year I gained weight. Not too much, but enough to make me feel uncomfortable – about ten pounds. I’ve been told that I still look good, and I’m sure these people who tell me this are being honest, and not just saying so, and I believe them. But I just don’t feel right. I don’t feel like I have been able to function at my optimal level. I feel blah. And this wasn’t intentional, but I decided join the quest along with the rest of the world to eat healthy and exercise at the start of this year.

With this new resolution in hand, my approach to shed these pounds has been significantly different than my many past attempts. It has allowed me to not look at food as being the enemy, nor exercise as a form of punishment for allowing myself to gain the weight. No. Instead I have developed a wonderful relationship with food. I’m now not afraid to have that piece of cake, or that spoonful of Nutella. And I actually look forward to exercising, to the point that if I am not able to exercise first thing in the morning, I try to do little things throughout the day, such as jumping jacks as I’m sauteing vegetables.

How did I get to this point? Well, let me explain this to you. As I mentioned earlier, I wasn’t feeling comfortable in my own skin, and I found that my body was operating on a sluggish level. I thought long and hard about when my body worked wonderfully and I noticed that it was at a slighter lighter weight and while I was eating well and exercising. Not rocket science, I know, but it took me a while to figure this out. However, I also had to think about the type of approach I would need to take which was in line with my resolution. Clearly, depriving myself of treats. condemning myself to a lifetime of vegetables and fruit only and being militant about exercise was out of the question. The solution I came to was to download an app which calculated the calories in the food I ate, along with an estimate of the calories I burned while exercising. This allowed me to be creative with my meals, allowing me nourish my body with healthy foods, and also provide me with the opportunity to still enjoy treats, so long as I exercised. As a result, I am now excited to exercise, look forward to it for many reasons – it feels good, it’s my ‘meditation’ time (I do it in silence), but most of all it allows me to eat more, because quite frankly, I simply love to eat.

Being kind to myself has also shown to benefit other areas of my life. I have found that it has forced me to really slow down and take a long, good look at every situation that I’m in, how I’m reacting to it and what I can do. I have a choice in the matter. Being kind to myself so far has meant to take time off and take a break when I’m tired. It has meant to take a walk at lunch time and de-stress from the morning’s work. It has meant to speak up when someone was unkind to me (and even to other people as the injustice was horrible to deal with). It has meant to say no to some people, and yes to others. It has meant to change plans at the last minute. And sometimes to just cry.

This process has been amazing because through all of this, I have found that what has resulted is that I have felt more at ease. I keep having to monitor myself and try yo bring me back to center and now I don’t get worked up as quickly as I did before. I am paying more attention to how my body reacts to things and I adjust accordingly. Relationships with family and friends have improved as I’m not as stressed out and I used to be. I now don’t mind anymore being behind that person who has ten price checks at the grocery checkout. And being stuck in traffic – I now view that as a time to think and if I’m with my daughter, a time to talk as we likely wouldn’t have that much time otherwise. Dealing with unpleasant people doesn’t affect me as much. I am now more patient, relaxed and kind with others.

I think I picked a good resolution this year which I will carry onto next year and years to come. What is your resolution? Where are you with it now?

Out With The Old And Go Painting

January 1, 2013 by Manuela, posted in Being Present, Living

“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering ‘it will be happier’…” – Alfred Tennyson

It’s now 2013 and I couldn’t be happier! I’m sad to see 2012 go, just like my daughter was last night, because it was such a great year. It had its rough moments, downright difficult moments, but they were just moments. Overall, the year was joyous!! I had amazing experiences, great adventures, and I was surrounded by the people I love – who could ask for anything more? The fireworks shown brightly!

And now 2013 is going to be even better. I wish for you the same thing. My wish for you is to try new things, push yourself, change yourself. And at the same time you’ll be changing the world around you. My wish for you is to do things that you have never done before. My wish for you is to not freeze, stop, worry that you can’t do something good, that you’re not good enough. Who cares! Don’t let fear get the best of you. Nothing is perfect, no one is ever good enough, just do something! Make mistakes, because you’re human!

Give this some thought. Think about all the things that you wanted to accomplish in 2012 and what held you back. Then think about the brand new canvas that awaits you this year. Imagine being a painter and painting the life you want. Go Picasso! Paint your canvas!

I’m going to share something with you, which was shared with me by a wonderful woman, and friend Claudia. She does this every year, and I did this last year, to ring in 2012. Now granted, I didn’t do it to its fullest, and this exercise was already powerful, but this year I will.

From Claudia:

A great way to ring in the new. I’ve shared it with a few friends who’ve loved doing it, so I want to share it with you. As the saying goes, “Well begun is half done”, so I suggest you do this either on New Year’s eve or New Year’s day to get 2013 off to a wonderful start:

Start with a 10 – 15 minute meditation in which you set your attention on releasing the old and opening to the new.

On a piece of paper, hand write a list of all the things in 2012 that you’d like to let go of. This can include old patterns that don’t serve you, grudges or resentments you’re hanging on to, fears that hold you back, or circumstances that you’d like to change. It can also include not-useful habits such as eating too much sugar or not exercising. Make sure your list is as complete as possible with everything that didn’t work for you in 2012. My list is usually a few pages. If it’s easy for you to burn the list, then you can do that. If not, you can tear the list up in many pieces. As you release this list, imagine letting go of the energies that are represented on your list.

Now, on to creation. Make a list of all that you wish to create for yourself in 2013. Include the habits you’d like to embrace, the external circumstances you’d like to create, and the internal experiences you’d like to have (joy, freedom, ease, love, peace, acceptance of all that is, etc). Be as specific as possible. Read the list out loud (whether you’re alone or with others). Speaking it out adds more energy to it. Feel each item as though it’s actually happened.

Put the list in a special place, as a symbolic offering for your coming year.

Notice how you feel after doing this ritual. I always feel cleansed, lighter, renewed, and excited about what’s ahead.

To all of you, I wish you a fabulous year ahead!!

Month: January 2013

Pay It Forward

So, Where Are You At?

Out With The Old And Go Painting

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